Don't come, not being here for me at all. 

Then want to come and kpkb me for every small thing now. 

You don't understand shit. 

Fucking hell.

Sometimes. I feel like I'm a dog on a leash. Restricted by the string that ties me. Is it so hard to trust in me the way I trust you? 

Do you hear me asking you why you were online on whatsapp at this timing? 

Do you hear me asking what you are wearing right now ?

Do you see me controlling your money like as though it's my own?

You can't be so selfish. 

Think about it. 

Sometimes, you get so calculative. 

It hurts. 

Everytime you are right. I am wrong. 

You don't listen. 

I hate it. 

I hide my anger to protect this relationship. 

I hide my sadness to protect this relationship. 

And you? 

All you do, is tear us down slowly. 

I don't know what to do anymore. 

When you go to flight school. 

That's when everything will unfold. 

Even now you are just in NS. You behave like this. 

Reflect on your actions. Please. 

If you want this relationship as much as I do. 

Or you could throw me away like how you did 6 years ago.

Your bad temper. Will be the death of you in future.

You don't treat other people like this. 

So WHY ME. 

Love makes people blind. 

Really blind. 

Disappointing.

Why does it seem so difficult to console me ? 

Why do you have to rub it in and make things worse for me ? 

Can't you choose the right time ? 

The right moment ?

Can't you tell that this is the time I needed you the most? 

I don't ask for you to understand 

I just want your concern, is that so hard?

Why do you have to make me feel worse? 

Why does it seem so easy to just say words that are so hurtful? 

Thanks. 

I REALLY NEEDED THAT. 

Disappointing.

Why does it seem so difficult to console me ? 

Why do you have to rub it in and make things worse for me ? 

Can't you choose the right time ? 

The right moment ?

Can't you tell that this is the time I needed you the most? 

I don't ask for you to understand 

I just want your concern, is that so hard?

Why do you have to make me feel worse? 

Why does it seem so easy to just say words that are so hurtful? 

Thanks. 

I REALLY NEEDED THAT. 

Okay, basically. this blog is No longer in use.
PLEASE GO TO..

www.th-11thNovembers.blogspot.com
www.th-11thNovembers.blogspot.com
www.th-11thNovembers.blogspot.com
www.th-11thNovembers.blogspot.com
www.th-11thNovembers.blogspot.com
www.th-11thNovembers.blogspot.com

And relink !

GOT IT ?
cheerios,
del.

Bonjour people.
Went to Malacca early morning.
Shopping there.
So yeaps, I'm back.
Church class starts tmr.
Damnnnnnnn.
Okay, basically, i don't have anything to update about.
So yeahs.

To Fan;
Alright, whoever you are. I don't care okay.
I kindly let you spout your nonsensical comments in my tag board.
And i didn't ban your IP, nor did i erase your comments.
But this time, you've gone overboard.
Who are you to meddle in my affairs?
What makes you think i'm just replacing Ben with Igy.
Who the fuck are you to think that.
Please okay. I have my limits to tolerate your nonsense.
Maybe you've never been in love before,
so i forgive you for not knowing how it feels like.
So, let me tell you.
It wasn't easy letting go of someone.
But i still did.
Okay, And you think its so easy to like someone either?
Why don't you try it yourself.
Don't be dumb please.
Ben maybe someone i've liked in the past.
But thats already something i've decided to leave behind in the past.
Understand that fact.
You think you can replace someone so easily?
People you love aren't pets.
You can't buy an exact new one.
Sorry okay, the ones that are precious to me are irreplaceable.
I'm not like you.
I treasure them.
So don't come to th-clover-x3 to crap and bullshit.
When you don't even know anything about me and my life.
My life, nobody understands how sophisticated and complicated it is.
So save your bullshits alright.

Sorry Ben, sorry Igy.
I had to do this.

This blog is gonna be deleted soon.
New year, new blog.
Anyway. School was alright.
Still can't believe Suganthi is our form teacher.
There goes my green socks.
Hahs.
After school went to NP room to prepare for CCA open house.
Which is next Saturday?
Yeaps. I can't wait for cheerleadinggggggggggg. :D
Tiring day today.
Was actually hesitating, whether to go for Project J or not.
But yeaps, i convinced myself to go.
I didn't regret going.
In fact, i was glad i went.
At least i know, He's alright.
I thank God.
Because
This is the best Christmas present He could ever give to me.
- To see Him again.

I'm sorry.

At least, tell me you're okay.
Please.

Did a stupid quiz.
Bored to death.

#01. Explain your relationship status :Emotionally attached. Hahs.
#02. Name a lyric from the last song you listened to : Cry- The Veronicas. ; " I'm breaking your heart, but i'm breaking apart."
#03. What did you wear today? : OBS shirt and FBT shorts.
#04. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses ?: Neither.
#05. How many windows are open on your computer ?: Three.
#06. What are you doing after this ? : Dinner? Hahs.
#07. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing ?; OBS ? Lol.
#08. Do you like To Cuddle ?: Yeaps, definately.
#09. Which one of your cousins is closest to you in age ?: Regina! 7 months apart.
#10. Do you like someone? What is the first letter of that person? : Nopes i love someone. It starts with a Capital " I " . Hahas!
#11. Do you like hugs? : Yeaps.
#12. Are you a loud person?: Hmm, lets see, maybe yes, maybe no.
#13. Look to your left, what do you see ?: My phone, Flu.
#14. What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?: To find myself dead. Hahs.
#15. Would your parents be mad if you come home smashed ?: Are you kidding? I'll be dead meat. #16. Have you ever had a crush on your siblings friend?: Hahas! Yeaps. In the past.
#17. Does it matter to you if your boyf/girlf smokes ?: It does, but as long as he quits, who cares ?
#18. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life ?: Hahs. Maybe yes, maybe no.
#19. Is there a guy/girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you ?: Nopes.
#20. Who was the last person you had a phone call longer than 7 minutes ?: Igy Prob.
#21. How often do you hold back from saying what you think ?: Hmm. I don't know.
#22. Last serious hug ?: Day honey went for his trip, or so i think.
#23. Would you ever dye your hair blonde ?: I'd rather brown.
#24. Is something bothering you ?: Yeaps. But i won't tell you what,
#25. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes ?: Hahas. Are they ?
#26. Do you believe that you can change for someone ?: Yeaps.
#27. What time you woke up this morning ?: 10 plus 11am.
#28. Would you go back in time to change something ?: Yeap. Many things. Like my PSLE results
#29. Is it hard leaving people behind ?: Yeap. Definately. Try dying then you'll know.
#30. What are you excited for ?: How i know -.-
#31. Who was the last missed call from ?: Private number.
#32. What was the last thing you spent your money on ?: Green apple milkshake.
#33. Is there one song that reminds you of the whole summer ?: When you're gone.
#34. What are you doing right now?: Thinking. Hahs.
#35. Can you handle the truth ?: Nopes.
#36. How's your life lately ?: Like fcuking shit.
#37. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong ?: Buy chocolates when i'm gaining weight.
#38. Do you hate being alone ?: Sometimes.
#39. Where were you last night ?: Where else, Home of course.
#40. Last non-alcoholic beverage consumed ?: Iced- Milo.
#41. Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them ?: Definately.
#42. When did you first get Myspace ?: Myspace is dumb i tell you .
#43. Are you drifting away from any friends ?: Maybe.
#44. What are you listening to ?: Yume No Tsubasa.
#45. What are you doing tonight ?: Pack my bags for school tmr.
#46. Does the last person who put their arm around you mean anything to you ?: Yeap, the dearest person in my life.
#47. Are you wearing socks ?: Crazy, of course not !
#48. Do you have anything in your pockets right now ?: Nopes.
#49. Who's your last text from ?: Stephanie.
#50. Are you comfortable with answering personal questions?: Been there, done that.
#51. Ever kiss someone who smokes ?: Been there, done that.
#52. Someone on your mind right now ?: Ain't it obvious ?
#53. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled ?: Nopes. Only a spendthrift.
#54. Who was the last person to sit on your bed?: Hmm. Flu, Hahas.
#55. Where were you at 2.02 this morning ?: Sleeping, what else -.-
#56. Did you go to sleep last night smiling ?: Nopes, worried.
#57. Anyone told you a secret this week ?: Yeaps.
#58. When was the last time you bought something ?: Yesterday.
#59. Do you play an instrument ?: Not really.
#60. What's your favourite number ?: 11

Once again, Happy new year ! :D
Well, finally.
School's starting tomorrow.
I haven't started on any homework.
I'm so dead.
Gonna be stuck outside commence room.
Hahas.
But at least i can get my mind off things.
Bad way to get the new year started huh?
Hmm.
Serious year already.
Lucky no N' levels.
But yeah.
Mr tan's not our form teacher anymore.
YAY.
I hope Miss Goh is though.
HAHAS.
I don't know what to bring tomorrow man.
And yes. Can see BFF Debbi ! :D
Hope tomorrow no POA.
Arghh.
Wonder if Flu's coming with me tmr..
Lol.
Sometimes, i wonder.
What are you doing right now?
How are you?
Are you well ?
):

Basically, went out to pack brunch.
Walked really slowly.
Went to that void-deck for awhile..
Went home, cook.
Blah..

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE :DD

Why can't you look at me, and tell me you still love me ?

What are you keeping from me ?
You're acting all weird.
You know it.
I'llbe there if anything happens.
No matter what.
But i want you to be honest with me.
Can you do that?
Do you trust me ?
Don't do things on your own.
Alrights.

Let me tell you what you are right now.
Nothing but a coward.
You don't even dare to fight for your rights.
And then?
Happiness, it doesn't fall from the sky.
And you're throwing away these precious memories.
It wasn't easy being brought together.
Confirmation camp?
Hahs.
I don't regret being with you.
I don't regret saying all those things to you.
I don't regret wanting to give my life up for you.
Because every word i said, i meant it.
Even up till now.
I asked myself.
Why do i love you?
Why do i love you like i always do?
I really want to see you.
But i'm afraid.
That those tears will start flowing again.
You've changed.
You're no longer the one i knew.
The person i knew, wouldn't hurt me.
Wouldn't bear to make me cry.
Who are you?

I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh,
everyday of my life.
I know what you are thinking.
I know you're reading this.
I don't have a web counter for nothing.
I'm really sick and tired of this okay,
If you're not tired, please.
I AM.
Stop taking me on roller-coaster rides.
Is this some kind of joke?
Be strong ? Bullshit.

I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh,

everyday of my life.

We all see that the ending is changing.

Just back from cheerleading.
I think i caught a fever.
I haven't had breakfast.
I think i'm gonna faint when i go out later.
Weak.
Cheerios,
DEL.

I LOVE YOU is 8 Letters.
But so is BULLSHIT.

I think it really applies.
I don't know why.
I'm feeling pissed off right now.
I was already going to turn in for the night.
Thought about some things,
Felt stupidly emotional.
Cried.
Did stupid things.
Then decided to wake up and blog.
I'd like to curse and swear,
But well, better not.
I'd disfigure my own blog.
Why is it so DIFFICULT to DIE.
WHY THE FCUK MAN.
I tell you, life, i'd rather not live it.
Sorry to those who are dying out there.
But if i ever could give you my life, i would.
My apologies.
Okay, I really don't get whats going on.
I'm not really interested in it though.
Probably some worthless stuff.
Received a call just now.
My spirits got a little up.
But it plunged down deeper later on.
So yeahs.
Mum wanted to torture me by rubbing Counterpain on my ankle.
Please, pain until.
If God hates me so much, why don't he let me die instead.
I won't blame him.
Since, it doesn't matter.
I won't make a difference.
Singapore has millions of people.
One won't make a bloody difference.
Dying is also a good thing.
Things that are going on now.
I don't think you bother,
so why should i care so much.
So what.
So what.
SO WHAT.
I'm breaking down.
Emotionally, physically, spiritually.
Fcuk life.
And to the 3 people i promised not to do "it".
My deepest apologies.
Im already at my limit.
I can't hold any longer.
Why the hell did i hesitate for ?
A certain someone.
Who don't bother,
Don't care,
Don't give a damn.
And don't give a fcuk to whats happening here.
So readers of th-clover-x3.BS.com.
Learnt a lesson?
Don't make someone your EVERYTHING.
Cause when they are gone,
You have NOTHING.
I hate this,
I hate this world.
I hate being alive.
I hate being alone.
Liars. Fcuk.

My ankle is hurting like shit right now.
Training and Cheerleading made it worse.
Well, alright.
Pain then die better la.

Credits to Madeleine Yeo's blog. Lol.
Interesting la !


TEN ARE YOUS
1. Are you single ? - Ah. Physically.
2. Are you happy? -Nopes.
3. Are you bored? -Somewhat yes.
4. Are you fair? -Nopes. I'm tanned.
5. Are you Italian ? -Nopes.
6. Are you intelligent? -Of course. I can think for myself. LOL~
7. Are you honest ?- Who is ?
8. Are you nice?- Hmm. If you're nice to me. Hahas.
9. Are you Irish? Nahs.
10. Are you Asian? Like, duh.

TEN FACTS
1. Full Name : -Madeline Chan ! :D
2. Nicknames : -Madel, Del, Sasuke.
3. Birth place : -KKH
4. Hair color : -Brown-black.
5. Natural hair style :- Hebe's Hairstyle.
6. Eye Color : -Black.
7. Birthday : 19th March
8. Mood : Sad, Frustrated,Emo, Moody, Indescribable.
9. Favorite color : Pinkish-Red, Lime-green.
10.One place you'd like to visit : Japan !

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Have you ever been in love : Of course.
2. Do you believe in love at first sight : Thats Infatuation
3. Do you currently have a crush? Nopes.
4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally : Duh.
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart : Yeaps.
6. Have you ever had your heart broken : Hmm. Yeahs.
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them : Nopes. Hahas! ~
8. Are you afraid of commitment : Nopes.
9. Who was the last person you hugged : My darling.
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to? -My darling.

TEN THIS OR THAT
1. Love or lust? Love.
2. Hard liquor or beer? Yeaps. Nice !
3. Cats or dogs? Dogs of course.
4. A few best friends or any regular friends? A few best friends.
5. Creamy or Crunchy? - Creamy
6. Pencil or Pen? -Pencil.
7. Wild night out or romantic night in? -Romantic night in.
8. Money or Happiness: I'd say both. But of course Happiness lah !
9. Night or day? -Hmm. Day cause i have night-blindness? HAHAS.
10. IM or phone? Phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER
1. Been caught sneaking out? No.
2. Seen a polar bear? Yes.
3. Done something you regret? Yes.
4. Bungee jumped? No.
5. Eaten food that fell on the floor? - Eww. No.
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker? -Nopes.
7. Been caught naked? No ! -.-
8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back? -hmm...
9. Cried because you lost a pet?- Nopes. Cry for what. I no pets what. LOL.~
10. Wanted to disappear? Yes. Right NOW.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
1. Smile or eyes? -Smile!
2. Light or dark hair?- I don't know. Lol.
3. Hugs or kisses?- I'd go for BOTH ! :D
4. Shorter or taller? Taller.
5. Intelligence or attraction?-Both.
6. Topman or Zara? -HUH.
7. Funny or serious? Both.
8. Older or Younger? Older.
9. Outgoing or quiet? Outgoing.
10. Sweet or Bad? What do you mean by BAD. -.-

TEN HAVE YOUS
1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd? Yes.
2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour? Yes.
3. Ever tried walking on your hands? -Nopes.
4. Ever been to a rock concert? - Not interested.
5. Ever been on a cheerleading team? -YES !
6. Ever been on a dance team? -Somewhat yes.
7. Ever been on a sports team? - Hmm. I think no.
8. Ever been in a drama play/production? -Yes. Primary school la !
9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? -Nopes.
10. Ever been in a rap video?-Hell no.

TEN... LASTS
1. Last phone call you made : Mummy
2. Last person you hugged : Darling.
3. Last person you hung out with : Cousins
4. Last time you worked : Never in my life.
5. Last person you talked to : NPCC people.
6. Last person you IM'd : MSN rather, Gwen
7. Last person you texted : Empireshop
8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with : Cousins
9. Last person/thing you missed : My darling. And Cheerleading !
10. Last website visited : www.th-clover-x3.blogspot.com




Cheerios !
Del.