I know that i am just giving you another burden.
I know you just can't forget.
Neither do i want to rant about the same thing over and over again.
Its pointless, but what can i do ?
MYE, i don't know what to say.
I just know that im all stressed up.
Come on, bang me with a M16 Rifle.
Its just so hard to breathe,
Like what Serene said, Silly.
):

I knew from the start that whatever i do,
whatever i say, its useless.
well, who cares anyway.
nobody.
why do i love you like i do ?

Down in the dumps i guess.
But will mug tgth with constance tmr :D
Maybe she'll cheer me up. Lol.
Doubt sisi will stay back with me.
Gonna buy my new school shoes soon :D
Converse, YAY-NESS !
Im gonna revise physics tmr, i think.
I chucked miss chan's notes like god knows where.
Gonna count on the textbook. Hahas.
And and. Found out smth.
Im like gonna be the only sec 3 in POP.
Call me slow but yeah.
But its quite cool luh :D
Somehow. Im just someone who wont get what i want in life, so yeahs.
I Don't want you to go, never.
"I miss you, i love you "
These words don't exist anymore.
Not anymore.
):

Why Girls Love Guys:

1.The way they act so innocent sometimes

2.The way they laugh

3.The way they smile

4.The way they get confused

5.The way they look into your eyes and make everything even just for a second go away

6.The way they touch you just to let you know he is there

7.The way they try to defend themselves when you tease them

8.The way he stares at you when you are walking down the hall even though his best friend is telling him the scores of last nights big game

9.The way they seem to pop out of nowhere and slip their arms around you

10.The way you fit just right in his arms

11.The way he gets embarrassed when he does something clutzy around you and tries to cover it up

12.The way they kiss you when you just had a big fight

13.The way they kiss you when your day has gone completely wrong

14.Actually just the way they kiss you

15.The way when you hug them they feel exactly like your childhood teddy bear

16.The way they can stay on the phone for hours even if he doesnt have much to say

17.The way he looks at you when he thinks you are asleep

18.The way he says "you look beautiful" even though you are just in jeans and a t-shirt

19.The way they stare at you in class and then still stare after he has gotten in trouble for not paying attention

20. The way they say "I LOVE YOU"

-unknown

而我已经分不清..
你是友情,还是错过的爱情.
Im more than just a friend.
But, what am i ?

When a Girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind
When a Girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply
When a Girl looks at u with eyes full ofquestions,
She is wondering how long you will be around
When a Girl answers "i'm fine"
after a few seconds, She is not at all fine
When a Girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying
When a Girl lies on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a Girl calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention
When a Girl sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once
When a Girl says I love you,
She means it
When a Girl says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future
When a Girl says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that.
-unknown

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else--
That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,
But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,
But you pretended that you don't care.
It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that he's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being his girl is an impossible wish..

Deep down,
no one can hear me crying for you.

Suddenly, breathing seems so hard to do.

bummer. bummer. bummer. bummer.
somehow or rather, im back to being the old emo person.
Im sick. Im tired. Im heartbroken.
What do i know ?
I was stupid enough to ask that question.
And in the end i tend to find out things i'd rather not know..
Seeing was enough to make me cry.
And to make me do stupid things,
So i just emo-ed in class luh.
Din have the mood to study anyways.
Basically was studying alone after History 3ple S.
Until Lz came along.
Practically carried one pile of books home.
Walked through yishun park.
Was like sweating luhs.
Felt so sick.
To let go, its not easy.
Neither do i want to.
Feel like im rewinding back to the past,
when i feel the same pain over and over again.
But this time, it hurts, more than ever..
Whats the difference ?
Im already hurt anyways.
Urgh. Heart is physically pain.
Bahhhhs.

Ciaos.

Time, won't wait for anyone.

But i will wait for you.

Mugged in school today.
Done my super duper chim english assessment book :D
And i so so finally understand inequalities.
You know why things are unfair in this world ?
Blame the person who came up with INEQUALITIES.
Yeahs. Having Lots of mock these few days.
So so gonna flung physics, and chem.
Cupid's arrow missed me a lot of times. Why ?
Im good at dodging, or he just doesn't want me to die -.-
HA-HA.
Its not just what a simple sorry could make up for.
You never know what you have till its gone.
I guess.
Mr tan was like " Madeline you understand anot !! "
0.0 Lol. I was like " YA YA YA ! "
Hahas ! Then he said " Lucky you understand, if not i die ah ! "
Eh like as if i was the only idiot,
who didnt know what the hell he was colouring on the board.
GEESH . Always arrow me. Bakaa. T.T
Today had flag-raising.
Haha. Last last week was a geek who kept desiao-ing me.
Then today was two guys like god knows who, also keep talking talking talking to me.
Totally dao them luh -.-
Irritating. Don't even have a moment of peace.
Was saved very much later :D
Hahas ! Like thanks luhhh.
They totally shut up. Good. -.-
Like Mrs poh didn't notice at all, her class has the same old pattern.
HA-HA. Now i dread flag-raising.
I was staring at it. Stare stare stare.
Hahas!
P.s. saw what seemed like a rat today.
EEKS !
And yeahs. PI, its not funny.
Let me tell you that.

Love and be loved in return.

It seemed like a long while since i ever said this,

but i miss you, Loads.

and oh yeahs.
For those silent people who come and go for the sake of reading my rants,
I know who you are so yeahs.

p.s HAH, u think i care about you, small fry only la.
I don't even giv a damn about you or him.
As if i care, u think i adore you ?
Like, no. I thought wrong.
HAHS ! HCTIB. -.-

My grades are going down.
Im stressing. Im emo-ing.
Does it have to be this way ? ):
Am i just a familiar stranger to you ?
Am i just someone who simply doesn't exist on this universe ?
I seriously need to catch a breather.
I sorta day dreamed in class.
I know bad bad bad.
Didn't concentrate. HAHS.
I didn't really care.
I could just think and think until i actually cried.
Like, wow.
Shit me. Should have just concentrated on studying.
Talked to constance after sch and hung out.
Seriously poured everything out ):
Its like, how do you feel when people treat you like a piece of glass.
Like they walk right through you and don't even see you .
It hurts a lot, seriously.
And things aren't the same anymore.
Walked home without sisi today.
Enjoyed emoing by myself.
I should do that more often, in the rain.
I love you.
but.
You don't love me ):

Give our love a chance, for one more day.

I hope i won't be treated like a transparency paper.
It hurts.

*to THAT person.
urghs. Like can you get your facts right first.
Don't know don't talk craps la huh.
Its plain stupidity .

Theres nothing to be sorry about.

I guess.

Im frustrated.

Im tired.

I want to sleep,

and not think about anything else.

Like seriously.
I woke up at 7 plus just tuh confirm whether all proposals and everything are done.
AND AND ! I realised i missed out Sentry duty.
Wah. then i faster edit :X
Anyways, thanks for your help ben, sisi, bobo.
For tonning with me throughout. (:
Though im damn sleepy now. I better re-check the proposal.
Later going out tuh mit ma am jiaxin tuh give her the proposal.
Lol. Hungry ~~
Haiz. -.-
I go redwld maple. I want my meso ! :D
hahas !
Ciaos !

To that arse. *
You think what, I've known her for about 9 years and you ?
HAHS ! Please la, don be so petty okays.
She nids her friends also.
Don think she's Yours for god's sake.
Its never been that way since the day you were born.
You seriously don't know what the hell is going on don't you ?
Don't be selfish okays.
I thought she found someone good and all.
But, hahas. I THOUGHT WRONG.
I can't take this kind of behaviour la please.
You never ever knew how she felt,
I can'stand there and do nothing about it.
Like. HAHAS. what is the world coming to?
Go do some self'-reflection luh okays.
And if you happen to read this, Ohs. then good la.
If what you think i said is wrong, then voice it out.
I don't mind.
If you ever ever thought of heeding my advice,
Heres it.
You'd better consider about her feelings more okays.
And oh. Friends and Lovers are totally different.
Unless you can't see then too bad la.
If you want to be sacarstic, i can be 20x more sacarstic back to you .
Trust me, im not easy to deal with .
Mind you, know your limits.
I don't give a damn whether she sees this or anything.
Its none of my business.
I just don't want her to shou any wei qu.

Now is 2.36am.
Finally finished editing the proposals.
Haiz. Im hungry T.T
The proposals are giving me a big big headache.
Hahas. Oh wells. One squad right ? (:
Lol. So sleepy. *YAWNS*
:X i guess i'll print tmr.
Then Meet ma am jiaxin to give it tuh her at noon.
Lol. Scared. T.T
Hahas. Nites.
Ciaos !

Went out to eat Sakae with parents.
Damn full luhs.
Feel like pukingg ~~~
Lols. And and. Guess what.
Someone inspired me to buy 10 YEAR SERIES ! :DD
Hahas ! Then i bought altogether more than 60 bucks.
T.T Lol. I'll mug mug mug ! :XX
Hahas. Im gonna" fast" next week. save money !
Anyways.
Bought :
-Physics (10 yr series)
-Chemistry(10 yr series)
-English
-Add maths(10 yr series)
-Emaths
-Social studies
Assessments. LOL !
So so so hiong.
But for the sake of my future. i'll strive ! :D
Lol ! shit. -.-
I doubt i can sleep tonight. They have yet to send the proposals tuh me. -.-
Geesh. I guess i have to rush it.
Ton la !
Ciaos ~

Got my gift vouchers today.
$60 popular. Man, i'd rather cash vouchers.
And the concert was entertaining.
I thought i was gonna faint at the parade.
But, i survived ! :D
Thats a Miracle.
Lol.
-MYE
-ANNUAL CAMP
-HIM
-POP
thats all im thinking of right now.
POP on the 10 may ?
Duno what sir derrick talking also. Hahas !
Thinking about the past in Northbrooks.
God. Its cool la. But weird. -.-
Anyways. Im dying to go bugis.
Yong he could tell that im moody.
Gosh, BINGO man ! :X

Ciaos ~

Save me.

):

Like, who am i compared to her ?

Obviously, nothing.

Oh yes.
I feel like crying.
I feel like dying.
I feel like punching.
I feel like slashing.
I just want to scream .
Im not interested in tomorrow's speech day.
Kindda stupid.
And yeahs. I won't be able to hold out in the parade due to my weak constitution
I don't give a damn.
As if im not frustrated enough .
And wheres my penknife when i need it .
I'll have to make do without it.
Theres other means.
I guess.
Im just frustrated.
Well, who isn't .
Somebody, please kill me.
I'll be grateful .
HA-HA. Shit my life.
-.-

Why is everything turning back again ?

I don't understand

):

你一句话他很感动

你的关心他都接受

我的立场我的感受

你有没有试者想过

你的情话说的太多

你的关心给的太沉重

在你的心中爱不应该是占有

该不该就算了掉头就走

却放弃不了

学著承担

学著释放这样也好

(你没错〉他爱你比我更多

(没想过〉为什么选择寂寞

伤心不只是我相信你也懂

(你没错〉该我的就该给我

(没想过〉不管别人怎么说

心伤了心还是朋友

在生命中最好的对手

他爱你比我更多

为什么选择寂寞

Once i thought it was reality,

it turned back into a dream.

Its just so heartbreaking.

Okays. This is sweet laa.

HAHAS ! Im soo gonna search for this.

Lols. So cool la cans !

Anyways..

Im worried.

I wonder whats going on..

I don't know what to write, though there's just so much i want to say.

I've been thinking about it the whole day.

Yet im still pondering.

因为爱你,这就是我的理由.

心呢,被弄痛了

承诺呢,被丢弃了

听着你说好爱我,

感觉却不是感动,

这一次拥抱以后还有没有?

I can simply read your mind sometimes.
And yeaps. Im not gonna say anything about it.
I know, trust me, i do.
And i destest people who disturb me from thinking.
I don't know. Annoying luh.
I just lovee staring out into space, think and think and think.
I wonder if i can recover by speech day,
cos i really dont wanna fall out.
But im so stress and my fever wont go down.
Like duh. Stupid tests, MYE.
Grrs, i don't wanna talk more.
Its been in my head.
DYRLM ?
initials. Go guess la. :X HAHAS !
Ciaos.

Guardian Angel,

能不能 让我们再爱一遍?

就算倒退一天, 我都想要体验.

i know you're not ready.

but i don't mind waiting.

lovees :D

Like omg laa.
Today went to Kallang Leisure Park.
Saw a lot of things i want. Like. HAHS.
P.s i love you disc, 12 bucks. god. so cheap -.-
And and, bleach lion ! :D So cute la !
Its total anime okays !
I swear im gonna go there after Bugis, if possible laa.
Cause the things there like not cheap also. Hahas.
I don't know how things will turn out.
I wonder.

Ciaos !

在你的背景,有我爱你

Aishiteru (:

Though i don't really know how much pain you are going through,

How much stress you have,

I just hope that you will share it with me.

(:

I hope to be your guardian angel,

watching over you and protecting you.

i love you.

Im feeling weak.
Like, god knows why.
Sick laa. And Speech day is coming.
Many proposals to handle. Haiz.
Lol. But i will do it. Till the enddd :DDD
HAHAS !
Watched P.S i love you on channel U.
Damn nice la. I cried okays !
Like. So touching lohs. Goshh.
I won't rant about it.
Go see this at: http://www.crunchyroll.com/media-49536/Angel-I-Love-You-Movie.html
Super nice. Hahas. Din bluff you, serious.
Every love is worth sacrificing for.
Well, thats what i think i guess.
Flag day today was soo tiring, and boring laa.
Walked to chong pang.
And had some troubles la. But nvm, its over.
Tiring lehs. I swear i never go flag day again -.- HAHAS !
i'd rather go volunteer at SPCA or smth. Lol.
I'll try getting the Ncos to attend the camp, and maybe some seniors to come back.
Since Terrence Tay requested it. Lol.
He stingy laaa ! dowan donate. Lol. Huiying better :D
HAHAS ! :X okays,
Ciaos ~

i lovee you :D

Never say goodbye when you still want to try.

Never give up when you still feel you can take it.

Never say you don't love a person when you can't let go.

It doesn't take a reason to love someone,

but it does to like someone.

You don't love someone because you want to,

you love someone because you are destined too.

It's because you fall in Love with them,

that you then try tofind a reason, but you always come up withthe answer, No reason!

God. OBS shirt ! :D

Hahas ! Took photo in my OBS shirt.

Sooo cool la cans. Lol.

Anyways. Today was a bummer day.

Well, practically everyday is luh.

And i fell out during rehearsal just now.

Kindda close to black out.

Probably didn't eat ?

Yeahs, prize giving rehearsal was a breeze.

BOW 90 degrees ! Thats Rina's Usual line -.-

Haiz. Im tired.

Tmr flag day. Sian luhhh.

Hahas, but maybe will be fun ?

Don't know. Hmms. Lol. :X

Seriously, im gonna go bugis street to shop. -.-

Buy all kinds of colours watch.

and and SUNGLASSES ! ~

HAHAS ! but im busy.

Lol. im gonna make annual camp a successed one.

Wish me luck !

But i dont think it counts on luck itself, but also hard work.

So yeahs. Im not gonna fail SS again.

Im gonna study and mugmugmug.

Later Bala nag me again lohhh . Lol.

Okais. Ciaos ~

我猜你早已发现我的爱

绕几个弯越靠近越明白

不要走开

幸福的开始就是放手去爱

:DD

i lovee you

Gosh. Camp Cord ?
Im dead. HAHAS !
Anyways. Im sure its gonna be fun fun fun during annual camp :DD
Lol. Hope NCOs will come back. Yeahs.
And whats a flag escort ? GOD.
Okays. I failed SS. Believe it or not -.-
Hahas. Waiting for some emails to flow in.
Lol. Short post la uh . Lazy.
Bummer day. I don't want to talk about it.
Since You don't care,
Why should i give a damn.
Ciaos.

Short and random post alrights.
Having a damn fever.
Sleeping early later.
Don't know whats a Flag -escort.
Someone enlighten me pleaseee.
For the POP thingy la.
Anyways. Speech day rehearsal, boring. Lol.
Was like squinting my eyes due to the hot sun.
And my poor nose got sunburnt.
Shit day. I lost my belt -.-
Thanks A lot Ben for the belt. Like, heng -.-
HAHS.
was in no mood today. Failed Chemistry test.
Confirm chop.
I don't wanna say more.

Avoiding me ?

Yes you are.

Running away from reality,

Yes you are.

And let me tell you.

I won't bother to chase.

Cindy's right.

After you make an important decision,

Don't ever turn back,

Cause i know i'll cry.

Its chim, but don't try to understand it la huh.

my random worddds.

ciaos.

HAHAS !

I wonder if he knows that he's all i think about at night.

Like what am i even thinking.

He didn't say he Loved me.

Sorry for not blogging for days.
Anyways.
Friday was like.
I don't know. Felt like puking during np.
Duno why la. Maybe ate too much hotdogs. -.-
HAHS.
Why do things have top turn out this way ?
Like seriously. Im sooo damn upset about it.
God is being mean to me.
To me, to him, and to Us.
Anyways. Im back to maple.
Lol.I just don't get it.
It sucks big time.
Total bummer i guess.
Heys, cheer up yeahs ?
Things will change, youll see (:

I Think i Love you