Why can't you look at me, and tell me you still love me ?

What are you keeping from me ?
You're acting all weird.
You know it.
I'llbe there if anything happens.
No matter what.
But i want you to be honest with me.
Can you do that?
Do you trust me ?
Don't do things on your own.
Alrights.

Let me tell you what you are right now.
Nothing but a coward.
You don't even dare to fight for your rights.
And then?
Happiness, it doesn't fall from the sky.
And you're throwing away these precious memories.
It wasn't easy being brought together.
Confirmation camp?
Hahs.
I don't regret being with you.
I don't regret saying all those things to you.
I don't regret wanting to give my life up for you.
Because every word i said, i meant it.
Even up till now.
I asked myself.
Why do i love you?
Why do i love you like i always do?
I really want to see you.
But i'm afraid.
That those tears will start flowing again.
You've changed.
You're no longer the one i knew.
The person i knew, wouldn't hurt me.
Wouldn't bear to make me cry.
Who are you?

I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh,
everyday of my life.
I know what you are thinking.
I know you're reading this.
I don't have a web counter for nothing.
I'm really sick and tired of this okay,
If you're not tired, please.
I AM.
Stop taking me on roller-coaster rides.
Is this some kind of joke?
Be strong ? Bullshit.

I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh,

everyday of my life.

We all see that the ending is changing.

Just back from cheerleading.
I think i caught a fever.
I haven't had breakfast.
I think i'm gonna faint when i go out later.
Weak.
Cheerios,
DEL.

I LOVE YOU is 8 Letters.
But so is BULLSHIT.

I think it really applies.
I don't know why.
I'm feeling pissed off right now.
I was already going to turn in for the night.
Thought about some things,
Felt stupidly emotional.
Cried.
Did stupid things.
Then decided to wake up and blog.
I'd like to curse and swear,
But well, better not.
I'd disfigure my own blog.
Why is it so DIFFICULT to DIE.
WHY THE FCUK MAN.
I tell you, life, i'd rather not live it.
Sorry to those who are dying out there.
But if i ever could give you my life, i would.
My apologies.
Okay, I really don't get whats going on.
I'm not really interested in it though.
Probably some worthless stuff.
Received a call just now.
My spirits got a little up.
But it plunged down deeper later on.
So yeahs.
Mum wanted to torture me by rubbing Counterpain on my ankle.
Please, pain until.
If God hates me so much, why don't he let me die instead.
I won't blame him.
Since, it doesn't matter.
I won't make a difference.
Singapore has millions of people.
One won't make a bloody difference.
Dying is also a good thing.
Things that are going on now.
I don't think you bother,
so why should i care so much.
So what.
So what.
SO WHAT.
I'm breaking down.
Emotionally, physically, spiritually.
Fcuk life.
And to the 3 people i promised not to do "it".
My deepest apologies.
Im already at my limit.
I can't hold any longer.
Why the hell did i hesitate for ?
A certain someone.
Who don't bother,
Don't care,
Don't give a damn.
And don't give a fcuk to whats happening here.
So readers of th-clover-x3.BS.com.
Learnt a lesson?
Don't make someone your EVERYTHING.
Cause when they are gone,
You have NOTHING.
I hate this,
I hate this world.
I hate being alive.
I hate being alone.
Liars. Fcuk.

My ankle is hurting like shit right now.
Training and Cheerleading made it worse.
Well, alright.
Pain then die better la.

Credits to Madeleine Yeo's blog. Lol.
Interesting la !


TEN ARE YOUS
1. Are you single ? - Ah. Physically.
2. Are you happy? -Nopes.
3. Are you bored? -Somewhat yes.
4. Are you fair? -Nopes. I'm tanned.
5. Are you Italian ? -Nopes.
6. Are you intelligent? -Of course. I can think for myself. LOL~
7. Are you honest ?- Who is ?
8. Are you nice?- Hmm. If you're nice to me. Hahas.
9. Are you Irish? Nahs.
10. Are you Asian? Like, duh.

TEN FACTS
1. Full Name : -Madeline Chan ! :D
2. Nicknames : -Madel, Del, Sasuke.
3. Birth place : -KKH
4. Hair color : -Brown-black.
5. Natural hair style :- Hebe's Hairstyle.
6. Eye Color : -Black.
7. Birthday : 19th March
8. Mood : Sad, Frustrated,Emo, Moody, Indescribable.
9. Favorite color : Pinkish-Red, Lime-green.
10.One place you'd like to visit : Japan !

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Have you ever been in love : Of course.
2. Do you believe in love at first sight : Thats Infatuation
3. Do you currently have a crush? Nopes.
4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally : Duh.
5. Have you ever broken someone's heart : Yeaps.
6. Have you ever had your heart broken : Hmm. Yeahs.
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them : Nopes. Hahas! ~
8. Are you afraid of commitment : Nopes.
9. Who was the last person you hugged : My darling.
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to? -My darling.

TEN THIS OR THAT
1. Love or lust? Love.
2. Hard liquor or beer? Yeaps. Nice !
3. Cats or dogs? Dogs of course.
4. A few best friends or any regular friends? A few best friends.
5. Creamy or Crunchy? - Creamy
6. Pencil or Pen? -Pencil.
7. Wild night out or romantic night in? -Romantic night in.
8. Money or Happiness: I'd say both. But of course Happiness lah !
9. Night or day? -Hmm. Day cause i have night-blindness? HAHAS.
10. IM or phone? Phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER
1. Been caught sneaking out? No.
2. Seen a polar bear? Yes.
3. Done something you regret? Yes.
4. Bungee jumped? No.
5. Eaten food that fell on the floor? - Eww. No.
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker? -Nopes.
7. Been caught naked? No ! -.-
8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back? -hmm...
9. Cried because you lost a pet?- Nopes. Cry for what. I no pets what. LOL.~
10. Wanted to disappear? Yes. Right NOW.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
1. Smile or eyes? -Smile!
2. Light or dark hair?- I don't know. Lol.
3. Hugs or kisses?- I'd go for BOTH ! :D
4. Shorter or taller? Taller.
5. Intelligence or attraction?-Both.
6. Topman or Zara? -HUH.
7. Funny or serious? Both.
8. Older or Younger? Older.
9. Outgoing or quiet? Outgoing.
10. Sweet or Bad? What do you mean by BAD. -.-

TEN HAVE YOUS
1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd? Yes.
2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour? Yes.
3. Ever tried walking on your hands? -Nopes.
4. Ever been to a rock concert? - Not interested.
5. Ever been on a cheerleading team? -YES !
6. Ever been on a dance team? -Somewhat yes.
7. Ever been on a sports team? - Hmm. I think no.
8. Ever been in a drama play/production? -Yes. Primary school la !
9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? -Nopes.
10. Ever been in a rap video?-Hell no.

TEN... LASTS
1. Last phone call you made : Mummy
2. Last person you hugged : Darling.
3. Last person you hung out with : Cousins
4. Last time you worked : Never in my life.
5. Last person you talked to : NPCC people.
6. Last person you IM'd : MSN rather, Gwen
7. Last person you texted : Empireshop
8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with : Cousins
9. Last person/thing you missed : My darling. And Cheerleading !
10. Last website visited : www.th-clover-x3.blogspot.com




Cheerios !
Del.

Darling, i'll love you no matter what alright.
Bet on it.

I really don't know what to say.
I'm 15 already for Heaven's sake.
I'm not a kid anymore.
Moreover, please don't take me as one,
or treat me as one.
I can think for my own.
I have my own life.
I'm mature enough.
Please don't judge me by my appearance.
I may be small in size,
But please.
My attitude and character can overpower you alone.
I bet.
I'm not trying to be rude,
But i don't believe in being held down by decision makers.
I also don't believe in doing things against my will.
Cause that will never work.
But what to do?
Parents are the decision makers of relationships what.
I can't say much.
But i can say,
I'm fcking pissed off right now.
I'm serious.
Don't mess with my life.

So much for my happy ending.

Looks like the best thing that happened this week was.
My mum got me an adidas watch,
thats all.
Only shopping made me happy.
No life.

Why can't we just start over again,
Get things back to the way it was?
Why couldn't we decide?
Why must others decide for us ?
I don't understand.

I'd like to say I'm okay.
But I'm not.
I'd like to say i understand.
But i can't.
I'd like to say I'll accept things the way they are now.
But i won't.
I'd like to say I'll be strong.
But I'm not.
I'd like to die right now.
But god won't let me.
I'd like you to hold me and tell me this is all a dream,
But it won't happen.
Because, this is all reality.
Just that i can't face up to it.
I'd like to say i won't cry no matter what,
But why are these tears coming out?
I'd like to say i want you by my side always.
But its impossible.
The you who promised me not to leave me alone,
left.
"I love you".
These 3 simple words, won't exist anymore.
"I miss you" .
Won't be missed anymore.
Because, no matter " i love you" or " i miss you".
It doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe i was too naive.
"I love you", three simple words that anyone can say freely.
Without even meaning it.
Truth or lies,
I can't differentiate anymore.
My heart, is aching.
i've learnt something.
Nothing lasts forever.
Cause even forever,
Don't seem like long enough.
Well, they say.
You can't lose what you never had.
I guess its true.
You were never mine to begin with right?
Doubt and trust,
Which will it be?
I feel so..
Deceived, by god.
Thanks for taking me on a roller-coaster ride.
Thank you.
Thank you for doing this to me.
Thank you.
Thank you for hurting me over and over again.
THANK YOU.
I guess that's your Job.
Some Christmas this is.
This is so fcking unfair.
Seriously.

Sorry for lying, Clar.

I'm alright, i guess.

I don't understand. Neither will i .

慢慢失忆
所有和你的事情必须忘记
爱的盆地
深怕在一滴眼泪就会决堤
我也不想被你肯定
在这个时候
说我让你感动过
别握住我的手
说我一定会懂
作不成的爱人变成最好朋友
别牵著我的手
想著别人脸孔
换个方式牵手并不会更好过
可不可以不作你的朋友
慢慢心痛
没有人发现我和从前不同
你的眼中
看得见另一个人给的感动
我也不要你心疼我
在这个时候
对我比从前温柔
应该放晴的天气
还下雨
别这样下去
我难过但是说不出口
一直逃避我以为闭上眼睛
就能忘记
我的记忆
开始在雨天的七月二十三
慢慢经过
我们一起绕过的十字街头
怎么走都走不到尽头
可不可以别回头
可不可以就放手
可不可以不作你的朋友?

God brought us together,
and yet, he separated us.

I knew it.
But, why us ?

Let me die.

Bye bye world.

26 December 2008.

I sprained my foot.
Damn.
Monday still got NP.
I'm so dead please.
Anyway.
I wonder what's gonna happen now.
From here on.
I'm quite disturbed,
So i drank some 40% alcohol.
Super shiok can.
I'm not drunk.
I swear.
But i felt my liver burning so i stopped drinking.
Weak laa.
Hope mummy's gonna get my my adidas watch :D
For my early birthday present .
Woohoo ~
I feel like screaming.
Haiz.
Shit.

And i wonder,

Whether you were thinking of me this moment.

I guess not.

I miss Honey.
Hope he's alright.
):

so tired. Off to bed.
Merry x' mas everyone :D

Cheerios ~

Darling's at Batam.
Aww. I miss him already.
Hope he reached Batam safe and sound.
Not going for NP tmr.
Having Christmas party,
so i have to cook.
LOL.
So tired. Haiz.
Hope Darling comes back soon.
Hahas.
Merry 'X mas people ! :D
Cheerios.

Alrights.
Basically, nothing ,much happened.
I'll update about friday's training.
Had PT, and then punishment.
Did 120 excluding the 100 plus we owe.
50 pumpings, 20 crunches, 10 laps, 10 starjumps,
20 jumping jets, and 10 idk what.
Whew !
Almost died. LOL~
And got sunburnt too.
But, finally ! The week of training is over.
But there's more next week.
Went for Project J.
though i was quite tired.
But who cares ! :D
Yesterday was tiring.
Went to Vivo City today.
Actually wanted to buy Christmas presents.
But in the end walked around and ended up buying groceries.
Hahas. Well..
Feeling sleepyy.
Hmm.. One more day before Honey's trip.
I'm soo gonna miss him.
):
sadsadsadsadsadsad ! ~
Haiz.
I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Bonjour people! :D
Okay. First off.
NP was really tiring yesterday.
I almost died.
With the GOH training, PT and Cheerleading.
Whew!
I feel like my heart is getting weaker by day.
Oh well. Who cares! :D
Anyway. Tomorrow's sec one orientation.
Wonder what's gonna happen ._.
Hahas.
Anyway. Had a super long and tiring day today.
Went to Simei early morning.
In the end i don't even know why i went there for.
Wasted my time please.
N' level results today! :D
So glad Honey's results were good.
Thank God. LOL.
Okay, after i went to Simei,
went to meet Honey after he collected his results.
So practically spent one hour waiting at Serangoon station.
Considered today as "one day" spent with Honey.
Was super happy to be able to see him today.
Cos' of NP and stuff, was unable to.
):
Probably won't be able to see him till Next year.
Aww man.
I'll miss him like shit please.
He's going on a trip next tues.
Hopefully i can send him off. Hahas!
Wishful thinking. *
Hmm. Anyways, my whole body is aching like hell.
Stupid PT ! ~
Hopefully, i still can pull through the stunts tmr.
Aww this sucks, BIG TIME.
Anyway, something "suay" happened to me yesterday.
My finger kenna stepped on while doing pumping.
Kns. Pain please! Bleeding okay ! T.T
Okay !
Anyway. Nothing to blog about.
So, Cheerios~

Boo ! :D
Ah. I found a few lines of the song 白色风车 by Jay Chou quite meaningful.
Hmm.
Here it is :

我陪你走到最后
能不能不要回头?
你紧紧地抱住我
说你不需要承诺
你说我若一个人会比较自由

会不会手牵着手?
晚一点才到尽头


Hmm. Maybe it doesn't really apply but yeah.
Hahas.
I'll update the recent events on a separate post.

Bonjour people !
Sorry for not updating.
Not much happenings.
Edited a photo, damn nice please!
BUT. I won't show it to you guys~
*evil laughsss*
Anyway!
NPCC training began after the 3 weeks hiatus.
Well, have to wake up early again.
So yeaps. I'm dead.
You'll see me practically running to school.
Anyway.
Yesterday night, i couldn't sleep.
I was afraid.
Hmm.
Alrights. Anyway.
I think i'm gonna get diarrhoea man.
My stomach is so damn pain please.
T.T Must be the crab.
Oh god.
Almost fainted in the toilet while bathing.
Just felt so friggin' dizzy._.
Hope i'll be able to make it for NP tmr.
):

Just when i found you,

I'll have to lose you,

Sooner or later.

I cannot cry,

Because i know that's weakness in your eyes.

HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY HONEY!

I LOVE YOU. <3

Just a nice song i'd like to share. Enjoy!

Title :. Till The End

All these precious moments

With you by my side

Must be a gift from heaven

that's holding me all right

I don't know how I found you

I'm thankful that I have

Now that I have a love so true

To hold to keep to share

In my heart I can no longer hold inside

All of the love I used to hide

I'll always be with you until the very end

In this world there is no place I'd rather be

You are my life my soul my girl

And through it all

I know you're come to see

that you're the one

till the end

All my friends around me

Say you'd be gone too soon

Baby i'm gonna make then see

We've found our way back home

We'll always be

till the end

Mummy's Birthday card ! :D

Alrights. Its like 3.39am now.

I spent about 2 hours doing mummy's birthday card.

So tiring, but worth it, hahas.

And Honey's in Server's camp.

Wonder how he's doing now..

Hmm.. Worried la.

Hahas.

Hope he doesn't indulge himself on coke or pepsi.

So sleepy.

But i can't sleep.

I miss Honey like hell please.

Urgh.

Hope Nick is taking care of him. :D

Hahas.

Aww. 3 days without Honey.

Though we went for breakfast in the morning,

I still miss him. T.T

Naruto takes freaking long to come out one ep.

So i've been watching Bleach for the time being.

Ahhh. Shippuden movie 2 PLEASE COME OUT!

Aww. This suck.

Hahas. :D

I have an unfavourable feeling.

That something bad is going to happen.

Haiz. God.

Help please ? Onegai.

Hope that everything will be alright.

):

I miss Honey.

In this post,
I'd like to thank God.
Well, something sorta happened.
Woah, i was crying like shit.
And praying damn hard.
I'm not going to tell you guys the content of what i prayed about.
I only know it came true.
Except for some part la.
Thank you Nick! :D
Hahas. At least my prayer has been heard.
So yeaps.
Honey is alright, for now.
Haiz.
I don't know what to do.
):

And i prayed.

I love you Honey, i swear.

Bonjour people :D
Sorry for not updating for about 2 days or so.
I'll just update about today.
Went to Somerset, then to Orchard.
And then to Bishan.
Just to buy my confirmation dress and shoes.
And the price of the dress is about 70 bucks.
The price of my shoes was about 40 bucks.
God.
Seriously, i don't know why.
Hahas, i looked into the mirror.
And i thought, corpse bride. -.-
HAHAS~~
Okay la. Maybe not That bad~
Alrights. Ate at Cafe' Cartel.
So full please.
Oh my gawd.
Anyway, Honey told me some news.
Well, I'm not taking it well.
Based on my character,
I'll only think negatively.
I'm afraid.
Afraid that i'll wake up alone.
):

Bonjour people ! :D
I'm back from Genting Cum KL.
Its a not-so-fun trip.
But, i had fun with my cousin and sista.
Hmm.
Basically, we didn't visit the themepark.
Went to KTV 3 times.
Incredible right?
Thats why i'm down with a flu.
Anyway.
Missed Honey much! :D
Went Bowling about almost every single day.
Addicted to it.
Hahas. Spent about 500 rm.
Went shopping like everyday.
Being the shopping queen i was.
Lol. ~
Anyway, yesterday landed about 8.30 or so.
I forgot.
But yeahs, i text Honey the moment the plane landed. (:
My throat is super sore.
Due to KTV for a total of 9 hours.
And was so disappointed that i didn't get to shop at Chinatown.
And Times-square. ):
I sacrificed my shopping for KTV. ~
Argh.
Anyway, I have not even touched my holiday assignments.
Hahas, well, who cares.
I'll do it later ~
Lol. Alrighty, gonna catch up on my anime.
Ciaos!~

I love you Honey ! (:

Oh my gawd please.
I'm at Genting's lan shop.
Hahas. I'm itching to blog, thats why.
Okay, it has only been a day or so.
And i'm starting to miss Honey like hell.
Awww.
Hope he's alright, i guess.
Okay, anyway.
Didn't visit the theme park.
Just sat flying coaster.
And Honey, i brought flu with me :D
Everywhere i went. I swear! ~
Hahas, bought a lot of things luh.
Spent 300 bucks in 2 days.
Incredible.
Aww, what to do, Genting's my shopping paradise.
Hahas!~
Anyway, I miss Honey sooo much.
10x infinity + 1.
And and. Flu misses you too :D
Hahas! He actually went Shopping, KTV,
and wherever except toilet with me.
Hahas! What to do.
Haiz.
Okays, i'm off ~

I miss you honey,

And i love you ! ~

Honey just sent me home from church.
So yeah, here i am.
Hahas.
The Priest was super funny please.
Oh my gawd~
Hahas. And Honey's dad was playing the guitar.
Super cool.
Oh shit.
Forgot to take USB cable from Honey.
Ahh. God.
Anyway, those 2 hours were good enough for me to pray.
I wouldn't mind staying in church abit longer.
But yeah.
Awww, flying off to m'sia tmr.
Gonna miss Honey man.
Miss me and take care of yourself alrights ?
(:

I love you Honey (:

Bonjour people ! :D
Went out with Honey, Nana, and Nick.
Went to Northpoint to meet Nana.
Then took a bus down to Causeway.
Returned my library book.
After that had lunch at KFC.
Hahas !
Walked around after that.
Then left causeway about 3 plus.
Took bus back to NP.
Then went back home.
Really had a great time. :D
Honey, Nana and Nick were superb Jokers.
Seriously, today was awesome !~
Anyway. Since its like 1.00am now,
I can officially say, I'm going Genting tmr.
While i'm updating here,
I'm chatting with Honey on the phone. :D
I'm gonna miss Honey luh ~~~
Oh My Gawd. Hahas.
Awwww, its a 3pm flight la, so yeah.
Anyway. Thats all for now.
Ciao~

I'm missing ya' Honey ~

I Can't imagine, life without your love.

Cause even forever, don't seem like long enough.

Today was alright.
Yesterday night Honey got admitted to hospital.
Somehow i knew what happened.
Because Honey didn't pick up my calls nor reply my texts.
So i got super worried.
And yeap. I guessed correctly.
So i prayed harder than usual.
And i began to worry like hell.
And cried myself to sleep.
So yeaps.
But early morning about 6.45am or so.
I received Honey's call.
Or was it me that called.
I don't know.
But just Super duper glad i heard his voice.
At least he's alright.
Phew.*
God. YAY.
So basically.
Went out with Vanessa to NP and Causeway.
And ate with mum at AMK hub.
Ichiban sushi. Hahas.
Kinda suck. Sakae nicer please.
Bought my school books today.
Cost about 62 bucks.
Then we went to popular and spent about 28 bucks on stationery.
Hahas. That's why mummy always say i'm expensive.
How dumb of me please.
I borrowed a book previously, and its due tmr.
And i went to the library today. Shit right.
Oh whatever.
An excuse to go out again :P
So yeahs, went home.
Then cooked.
Didn't see Honey the whole day today. ):
AWW MAN.
I miss you la. Hahas.
one more day to Genting cum KL.
Oh my gawd.
How am i gonna survive without Honey.
I'll worry like some shit please.
Oh god.
Hope nothing happens. Haiz.
Vanessa is promoting sharks in her blog, go read! :X
Hahas. Europe consumes the most shark fins just so you know.
Duh ~
Stupid. Hahas.
Alrights. Time to sleep.
Being the pig i am. Hahas! ~
Ciaos!

Continue to bless Honey, okays ?

(:

Bonjour people ! :D
Okay, sorry for not blogging yesterday.
Cos' i was so frickin' pissed.
Anyway, a short update about yesterday.
Went out for Prata with Honey in the morning.
Then went to void deck to chit-chat awhile.
He told me ghost stories. Brrr ~
After that went home.
So yeah. Blah blah.~
Anyway. Honey's gonna get a pup.
He says I'm gonna make the pup die or smth.
So not true !~
Hahas. Watched Naruto movie 3 again yesterday.
Really, seriously, bored man.
Anyway, this morning went out for BBT with Honey.
Chit-chat at void deck again.
Went to buy Vanessa's GAGT then went home.
HAHAS. Funny thing was, i left my handphone in Honey's bag.
So i called him, and he was already home.
Lightning speed huh.
Blur me. LOL.
Sorry Honey :P
So yeah, he passed me my phone and off he went.
Thanks Yeah! (:
Alrightys. I think thats about it.
So, Ciaos !~

Baaa-aaaaabbb ~

Bonjour people ! :D
Today was a super mixed emotions kinda day.
Happy because i got to see Honey in the morning :D
Hahas! <3
And Daddy bought me this superb kawaii Pooh bear.
Hmm. Gonna name it..
Socks ! :D *jap tone please*
Hahas! I bet not many will know how to pronounce anyway.
Anyway. Daddy decided to buy a car.
A car that sucks, be it in colour or in brand.
Avante, blue. WTH.
I mean like, not classy at all please.
And if they were to choose that stupid colour, what for ask me along.
Dumb please.
Well, i'm never gonna let myself drive a non-classy car.
I want a FERRARI ! :D
Wooohooo ~
Okay. Went to Grandma's house for dinner.
Then to Giant. Buy groceries and stuff.
Super tired luh.
But i bet Honey's even more tired than me.
When i'm looking at shitty cars,
Honey was looking at super kawaii Golden Retriever pups man !
No fair no fair !
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
This sucks.
But at least i got to see Honey today. YAY ! :D
Honey's probably asleep right now.
Tired from all that cycling i guess.
Hahas. I'm also tired from all that walking,
nevertheless, here's a post for my faithful readers (:
Cool right !
Hahas. Alrights.
Ciaos!~

I love you Honey ! :D

Bonjour people.
Seriously, i'm so not in the freaking mood to blog.
Women's problems ya' see ?
Crap.
Anyway.Today was a super boring day.
Hahas, I'm serious.
Practically, today was "dye-hair" day.
My mom dyed for my sister,
and i dyed for Mom.
Hahas. So i highlighted my own hair.
Not permanent of course.
Pink+ purple + red.
HAHAS~
Because of NP luh. LOL.
The minute i POP i'll dye my hair man.
HAHAS~
nahs, after O's.
Even though Vanessa dyed a brown sorta colour,
It wasn't that obvious.
I'll dye an obvious brown.
*evil laughs* !
Hmm. Life sucks.
BIG TIME.
Honey, i miss you laaaaa.
Days without you suck. T.T
Oh yeah, i completed my Jigsaw !
YAY!
And it was 3 days of work so yeah.
Ciaos!

I MISS YOU HONEY .

MAKE UP POST !


Wednesday:
Went to Honey's house for a movie Marathon.
Watched 10 promises to my dog, Cody banks and White chicks.
Was there about 9am or so in the morning i think.
So sleepy. Hahas.
But yeaps. Really had a great time.
Went home and take a nap.
But my mum woke me up when its barely even one hour of sleep.
After that went out to dinner with mum and sis.
Went home and re-did my Full-U.
Superb tired, so i slept damn early.
Next day NP what.
HAHAS.

Thursday:
Alrighty.
Woke up at 8 am just to eat my breakfast,
just to ensure that i won't faint during GOH.
Hahas!
And so i didn't today :D YAY ME !
Okay.
Cheer leading is super FUN please.
But on the day,
The CIs aren't performing with us.
That's why I'm worried.
Their getting another guy to replace Sir Hanafi.
And i have to admit.
I don't trust one of my base.
That's why i think I'm gonna fall and die on the actual day.
So yeah.
But anyway.
Honey got admitted to hospital.
Wonder if he's alright now..
But yeah.
I don't have my penknife, but i have my blade with me.
I'm a practical person.
I don't think most of you, even my best friend,
know my personality very well.
Not surprising.
Its not like i open up that easily.
Hahas !
Today had some changing parade.
So sickening, but who cares.
I feel like learning piano.
But i'll have lesser time for Honey.
So i think not now bah..
Haiz. So freaking stress and i can't do anything.
How come it has to happen every single time.
Everyday.
Is this going to be going on and on..
If i'm going to cry on and on everyday.
I'll go blind before the time God has planned for me.
): fcuk life man.

I want to be with you forever.

But forever don't seem like long enough.

penknife. can't find it.

fcuk.

Basically, today was alright.
Alright, about today's training.
Ma'am Zulaikha and Sir Hanafi came back as CIT's.
YAY !
So basically she's in charge of our CCA open house 2009.
Today was GOH cum CCA open house training.
Maybe it was because i didn't sleep enough,
Or i didn't eat breakfast.
A few minutes of marching and i couldn't take it man.
HAHS!
Sounds freaking stupid, but true.
So i gave up one of my five chances and went to sit at the concourse.
Learnt my lesson man.
Damn.
Thank the heavens for blessing honey.
Seriously, my heart skipped a beat man.
THANK GOD.
Anyway. Now for the exciting part.
Actually Terrance and i were in Fancy Drills.
But then, i was like 39- 40 kg.
Can say lightest or smth there.
Then Terrance was in a sense strong .
So yeah, he's gonna carry me during performance.
HAHAS.
Please, its freaking scary okay !
But not for Ma'am Sharbana,
Cos she's in cheerleading.
Well anyway.
Got lifted up by Sir Hanafi and Terrance.
Had to stand straight on their palms.
SCARY !~
In my head i was like " shit man, i'm gonna die "
Hahas! And luckily enough,
The first attempt succeeded ! Woah !~
But the second, third, fourth, and fifth didn't.
Cos' my legs were trembling non-stop man.
WOAH!
But but but !
The sixth attempt succeeded !
Hahas.
PRO RIGHT !
Thanks to macho people like Terrance and Sir Hanafi.
But i'm so so so not gonna do that stunt again
HAHAS.
We did another stunt.
Which Terrance have to lift me up high and put me on his shoulders.
Well, it succeeded the first time :D
Because we did the routine only once.
*evil laughs*
HAHAS. But fun luh.
At least i didn't fall.
So yeah, cool.
Friday having training again. Haiz.
Better eat my breakfast.
And hope the sun isn't that strong during GOH training .
Hahas, yeah luh. I have a weak body.
Rather be in flag party or smth.
Though being a flag escort is way better,
HAHAS. I still remembered area 2 POP.
Being a flag escort is so cool please !
Awww. I want a second time man.
Hahas. Alrightys.
I'll go back to my jigsaw puzzle.
Ciaos people ! :D

God, continue to watch over honey, onegai.

I love you Honey ! <3

Music can express one's soul they say, its true :D

Without you, all i'm going to be is Incomplete. [ incomplete ]
I still need you, I still care about you. [ i still ]
I still feel you, like i'm right beside you.
I won't live my life without you. [ never let you go ]
Everybody's got something, [ never had a dream come true ]
they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go
No matter how I try and try,
I just can't say goodbye.


Okay time to sleep.
Nights people ! :D

Promise me.

Bonjour people ! :D

I realised that there are many silent readers in my blog.

Tag la ! Uh-luh ~

Alrighty.

Just went out with cousin to eat dinner just now.

Okay la. Went Chong Pang.

Had a slight fever this afternoon.

Sleep sleep sleep till about 6pm i think.

Or was it ? Hahas !

Anyway, i'll finish with a retarded photo. :P

Retarded please ! My Raccoon- " Xiao gui "

P.S. Honey, i love you :D

Somehow or rather.
I cooled down.
So yeahs.
I hope god will continue to answer my prayers.
Honey, take care alrights ?
I love you.

I love you, yes i do.

I'll be with you as long as you want me to.

Until, the very end of time.

This Morning when i woke up.
Seriously, i could hardly open my eyes.
As in, so swollen please.
Morever, i can hardly see now even with my night light on at night.
I think my night-blindness is getting worse.
Hahas ! Who knows, maybe i'll become blind.
Anyway, today's training was alright i guess.
We're doing fancy drills for CCA open house :D
YAY !
Hahas~
Throughout the training i was seriously worried.
But yeaps. Honey is alright, for now.
(:
Went out for lunch with Honey after Training just now.
Probably because of NP, won't get to see Honey much.
What to do ?
Haiz. Baka's out at Mandai zoo today.
So envious la.
She can stay out late and i can't .
So freaking unfair please !
DUH. We're only like one year difference.
And she got her DSL yesterday. BLACK !
I help her choose, thats why cool. *giggles*.
Can't wait to go Genting cum KL.
Ahh !~ Miss steamboat sooo much.
I ain't called a shopping queen for nothing alrights.
Of course, i'm soooo gonna miss Honey when i'm gone.
):
So yeahs. Thats all i think. For today.
Ciaos people ! ~

If you weren't here with me,

I don't know how i can carry on .

Honey, i love you. (:

Seriously, i hope Honey is alright.
If anything happens, God, please take me away instead.
I'm serious, i swear.
Training later.
I hope nothing happens.
URGH.
I can't help but worry.
God. Please.

Honey, don't leave me alone in this world.

Honey's probably mad at me now.
So yeah.
Here i am, with some shitty mood.
Just take it as its my fault, alright.
It doesn't matter.
So yeah.
I don't like it when you do things like being emo because of me.
Maybe to you its something small.
But to me, its big enough make me feel like killing myself.
Because i care.
And i seriously don't want anything to happen to you.
Even if something did happen, i'd rather it happened to me.
I'm sorry, alrights ?
Where's stephanie when i need her man.
Haiz.
I ain't bringing this mood to GOH tmr.
I can't.

Gomenasai, i know i've let you down.

Im sorry, and i love you.

Bonjour people ! :D

Today, to me, was considerably a damn busy day.

But then kindda enjoyed it, so yeah.

Initially, Stephanie and I were thinking about going jogging the night before.

But i kindda ignored my alarm clock when it rang.

So yeah, in the end Honey had to wake me up instead.

Ended up, baking and decorating cookies.

Went North Point to have lunch.

After that went Incut to cut my hair.

So freaking regret it man.

But yeah, have to get used to it.

Now all i can do is say:

*Grow faster grow faster ! *

F4.

So here are some pictures of the cookies i decorated. :D

Aren't they cute ? Hahas! :D

Alrighty.

Gotta eat dinner,

Till then.

Ciaos! ~

Aishiteru.

Okay people ! :D
Its like 3.01am now.
So yeah.
I'm here to crap about today as well as my resolutions for next year :D
Bear with me.
Alrighty, first off.
Today went out to North Point with Stephanie to meet Honey.
The plan initially was to explore the new library.
But yeah, anyway.
We went inside North point and walked around admiring all the super cute toys.
Seriously.
After that, we decided to go Causeway Point.
So we were sort of window-shopping.
After that we headed outside for the Pasar Malam.
Bought something to eat and we headed off to Sembawang,
To meet Chelsea and Cris.
Saw Debbi and Aisya at the MRT station.
Its a small world after all ! :D
So we just walked around again, and went into the library to sit.
Went to Yamaha, and woah.
VIOLINS AND PIANOS !
I was like, " i'm sooo gonna buy this next time ! "
HAHAS.
Okay, after that we left and Headed back to Yishun,
Cause Stephanie and I had to go home while the rest had Project J afterwards.
And Guess what.
Saw Kristin and Sisi ! :D
Seriously, how small is Singapore ?
So we said our goodbyes on the 804 on the way home.
Okay, this is the first most detailed post I've ever posted this year.
And here i am drinking milo while having Gastric pain.
High metabolism is seriously.. bad in a way.
Yeahs.


So for now, Resolutions cum wishes !
:D
Lets see ;
-Get back my first position in class :D
-SAVE MONEY.
-Super good grades :D
-Learn Piano/ Violin.
-A dog :DD
-No more Curfews !
-New Lappy.

And lastly..

- ITS A SECRET. (:


Ciaos people! :D

Without you where do i belong ?

Bonjour people ! :D
Today was really a half fun and half boring day.
Hahas. I won't fill in the details though.
*Giggles*
Okay, anyway.
Firstly, GOH is up, and CCA prep is also on.
Luckily i'm not in charge of anything big.
For once, i don't really need to worry about proposals and stuff.
So yeah.
And and. Puppies are so cute please.
I really had a great time today, seriously.
:D
Okay, anyway, Stephanie, my cousin is staying over at my house now.
Since Baka isn't at home, we practically have the whole house to us tmr.
We practically bitch about everthing .
Well, almost. Hahas !
And i found out smth interesting though, i confirmed it.
Hahas!
Gonna "bao liao" to igy tmr. hahas!
IM SERIOUS ~
Hahas. Alrighty, Ciaos~

And Baby, I love you.

Today was.

FABULOUSLY AWESOMEEEEE :DDDDD

11.11.08

Anyone realised today is 11.11 ?

HAHAS.

心不再拚命躲,不去害怕结果.

假设有个以后,你会怎么说?

爱转角以后的街,能不能有我来陪?

也许陌生到了解,让我来当你的谁?